I HATE Icing, I Really HATE Icing. Have I Told You How Much I HATE Icing?

Now before you get your chef's outfit in a twist and you are wondering how boring my life can be, if you promise to read on, I'll let you in on my secret. Just between you and me. My cakes are not naked. Far from it. We love our cake and eat it too. All that's needed is enough refrigerator space for the plate and the giant microwave dish cover to keep it fresh, that is, if there is any left.

You don't always have to bake and decorate by the rules. It's just that cakes should never be greasers and your stomach will agree. If you love cake, good cake, there's a lot bigger piece just waiting for you. Fresh coffee, tea or plain cold milk are great go togethers. The perfect ending to a great meal or just because you want some.

Just keep in mind a few basic changes and learn how to conduct your cake topping research, and you will be well on your way to substantially lower calories, and you really won't notice the difference without the grease.

Duncan Hines cake mixes have been my favorite. Just modify the recipe. Two eggs instead of three, and replace all the oil (1/3 cup) with just under a half cup of applesauce. Follow the rest of the directions. The baking time is just about the same, but since oven temperatures and your bakeware vary, plan on checking your cake about 3 to 4 minutes before package directions tell you it is supposed to be done.

Your cake starts out with a lower calorie content, and it is more healthful for you too. Let it cool and if possible, chill it in the refrigerator with a cover.

Choose a quality instant pudding with a flavor that will work nicely with the flavor of the cake you have made and make that according to package directions. Cover the first layer (on the top only) and place the second layer on top. Cover that top layer with the rest of the pudding. Add whipped topping on top of the pudding and fresh or canned fruit to the top. Spread the rest of the whipped topping on the sides and chill all covered until it is time for dessert, that is if you think you can wait.

Jarred soft marshmallow can be a little difficult to work with, but if you make your cake in a lasagna pan (and chill the topped cake), especially a spice cake, it's very good, even if a little messy to cut and serve. Don't use that topping too far in advance of serving, as the marshmallow tends to slither off the top.

The possibilities for toppings are limited only by your imagination. Ice Cream toppings such as chocolate fudge or carmel also work, but those work best when added to the cake as you serve. Also, honey mixed with Amaretto Disaronno slathered on top and sprinkled with almonds is good too (keep cake in pan in single layers, and add just before serving).

If you really insist on what we have all been taught is real cake icing, maybe you just need some aversion therapy. Close your eyes and imagine yourself with two spoons, one with sugar in it, one with your favorite hydrogenated white greasy stuff in it fresh from the can. Well, do you still want it? You won't miss the grease/sugar roses that much -- but if you do, get some big gumdrops, chill them and carve out some flowers.

Use your imagination for the toppings. Chances are your family will love the experiment in the kitchen before you present your masterpiece for guests. Just keep notes on what you put together.

And don't forget to bake and tell how you topped your cake.